Will there be a ‘Seven Heavens’ situation for Ireland at the Olympics (and if so, how likely is that title to be used?)

James Topping’s men’s team could very well be second overall in the last World Series season, an astonishing achievement, while Allan Temple-Jones’ women’s team became the first Irish team to win a World Series event, beating hosts Australia in Perth. The Australians are favourites for the gold medal in Paris. Whichever country wins, it’s a sure thing.

Speaking of the heavenly, is there anyone who plays the role of the Messiah?

You must be talking about Hugo Keenan, the Leinster and Ireland defender who missed Leinster and Ireland’s two-Test tour of South Africa and the series draw against the Springboks (1-1) and returned to the Sevens squad where he spent a few seasons. He had the approval of everyone involved to do so, while another name temporarily brought back from the 15s code is Sandymount-born Connacht winger Andrew Smith.

Are there others auditioning for the role of Messiah?

Antoine Dupont. The world’s best rugby player. He won the Champions Cup and the French Top 14 with Toulouse under 15s, made his debut in the Sevens earlier this year and then helped France win their first World Sevens series in 19 years in Los Angeles. France also won the season-ending final in Madrid. But arguably his most impressive feat was the flawless footwork he performed during a routine with the Moulin Rouge dancers as part of “tempo mastery sessions” at the rugby training centre in the Marcoussis suburb of Paris, according to the French Rugby Federation.

Okay, let’s talk about turkey and tournament format. What’s the story?

Three pools of four teams. Each team plays the other countries in its pool on the first two days of the tournament. The top two teams in each pool advance to the quarterfinals, along with the top two third-placed teams. Teams are seeded from first to eighth in the quarterfinal draw. The four teams eliminated from the pool stage advance to a consolation tournament, where the four teams that lost in the quarterfinals are also joined.

The semi-finalists will compete for medals, with the winners of the penultimate stage of the event advancing to the final for the gold and silver medals, and the losers competing for the bronze medal. The matches will be played on a full-size pitch, with each half being seven minutes long with a two-minute break. The final will be 10 minutes long in each half with a three-minute half-time.

Is there anything else interesting?

In three-man scrums, all conversions are taken by the drop goal method and yellow cards last for two minutes and are fairly common. If a game ends in a draw, the team that scores first in extra time wins.

Party opponents of the French government, is that true?

The tournament will take place at the Stade de France, home of French rugby. There will be non-stop music, dancing, drinking and fancy dress at the World Series Sevens events. But only VIPs will be allowed to drink alcohol and drink champagne in Paris because the organisers decided not to seek an exemption from a law that bans the sale of alcohol in stadiums.

Throwaway lines at the pub?

Did you know that Béibhinn Parsons is the cousin of former Mayo footballer Tom?

Did you know that 2022 World Sevens Player of the Year Terry Kennedy, Gavin Mullin and Zac Ward are the sons of Ireland under-15s players Terry, Brendan and Andy?

Did you know that Stacey Flood’s sister Kim plays Gaelic football in Dublin and rugby in Ireland?

Emily Lane’s nickname is Penny. It’s not true, but it should be.

What will happen to the Irish teams?

The men will need to continue their form from last season, when they won a significant victory over South Africa, but the Blitzboks remain potential tournament winners given their quality. Topping’s men will be looking for a high seed in the quarter-finals. Series champions France, New Zealand and Argentina are all in-form teams, while Fiji have won both Olympic titles so far. The volatile nature of the sevens matches means any of the six teams could win. Terry Kennedy is Ireland’s alchemist in terms of gold medal hopes.

The Irish women should be good enough to get out of the pool if they can get past GB and South Africa and into top gear. Staying away from Australia (who are back in the pool) and New Zealand for as long as possible is key. France, Canada and the USA are the other main contenders. They need to avoid injuries to key players such as Amee Leigh Murphy Crowe, Béibhinn Parsons, Stacey Flood and Eve Higgins.

Ireland men’s fixtures

Wednesday: Ireland – South Africa (16:30 Irish time); Ireland – Japan (20:00 Irish time)

Thursday: Ireland v New Zealand (15.30 Irish time). Quarter-finals (from 20.00)

Saturday: Playoff matches including semi-finals and finals.

Ireland women’s fixtures

Sunday: Ireland – Great Britain (13.30 Irish time); Ireland – South Africa (18.00 Irish time)

Monday

Ireland v Australia (1.30pm Irish time). Quarter-finals (from 8pm)

Tuesday

Playoff matches including semi-finals and finals.